Shelf Liner: Old School?

We live in a pretty new apartment. I don't think we are the first to live here, but we are, at worst, probably the third.

Things like the kitchen cabinets are, therefore, pretty new. But, like many rentals, they are pretty cheap. From cleaning out the bottom of them, the laminate on them looks as though it is going to peel off, which leads me to wonder: should I have lined them with "shelf paper"? Or is this an anachronistic practice?

When I got my first apartment, more than 20 years ago, one of the first things anyone did was run down to the hardware store and buy some shelf liner. It was one of the ways of making the apartment your own (did you favor the cabbage rose pattern? or were you more of a geometric patter person?) Often this was necessary because the bottom of the cabinets was, well, gross. Other times you were just trying to cover the lining that was there before you.

As I have lived in newer and progressively nicer places, this habit has fallen away. Was it me? Or do people just not do this anymore in general?

Housework as Hobby?

Living in a rented apartment, I have a small, somewhat sub-standard dishwasher. This wouldn't be such a big deal, except I cook ALOT, and we eat three meals a day in our apartment. And then sometimes we have kids over. All in all this equals a freakish number of dishes.

As I unloaded the dishwasher for the third time the other day, I wondered if this now officially qualifies as a hobby? I have ritualized the loading, unloading, and timing of it. I spend more time thinking about it than I should...

Least Favorite Thing to Clean

Does this fricking thing really need to be shaped like that? Does anyone like how this looks? Why aren't the things covering the bolts ever fastened down?

In our last place we had those fancy toilet bowl lids that shut s-l-o-w-l-y, so as to not make a whisper of a sound. That was cool. Why has no one put that kind of thought into how the damn thing attaches to the floor and the overall shape?

Do I really need the hassle of trying to get dust and other things out of all that surface area? I tell you, I do not!

Cleaning Blinds

I try to avoid renting apartments with blinds of any kind because I HATE them deeply. Not only are they are hard to clean, they don't shut out light properly, and they are constantly breaking. Why people who own apartments have any interest in having these things in their apartments I don't know. I am sure they must end up throwing them out often, and that can't be cheap (or very green for that matter.)

I have been told that by California law, landlords must provide window coverings. I would happily work to repeal this law if I could get some people to back me up. I miss NYC, where you got a curtain rod and got to put up whatever you wanted.

But it is my current fate to live with some blinds (both horizontal AND vertical.) And I have very dusty, dusty blinds. This is how you are repaid for opening your windows.

After a few unsatisfying attempts to clean them in situ, I decided to do a search. Many posts go this route, which involves outdoors and a hose. But, alas, I rent an apartment. If I had a house with a garden hose, I would not have these crappy blinds.

I was heartened to read these posts on cleaning blinds, since I DO have a bathtub. But still, it is a little nerve-wracking cleaning TTDBTY (Things That Don't Belong To You) but such is the fate of renters everywhere. Nonetheless, I am (or rather my blinds are) taking the plunge...

Bad Packaging

Why can't people make packaging that uses less material AND makes sense. Case study today: the scrubby stuff I buy to occasionally get stuff off of the sinks and bathtubs in my house. I don't use much of this stuff, but when I do, I REALLY want it.

So why is it in this
fricking lame-ass container? See the dent marks from where I try to squeeze the stuff out? This plastic is rock-hard. There is just no way to get anything out of there once you are about 1/2 way through the container.

So what do I do? What any reasonable person with a meager understanding of physics would do: I stand the thing on its head. But it has such a pinhead, it is nearly impossible to do unless I leave it somewhere it can lean. What were the Soft Scrub people thinking?

Here is my theory: scrubby, bleachy stuff that you use to clean your sink is basically the toothpaste of the housekeeping world. It serves the same function, and has a similar consistency (the scrub is more watery, but I imagine this is because don't want to give us as much scrub and because a true paste wouldn't work with this incredibly ill-conceived packaging. ) It is meant to polish and whiten your white surfaces. Sound familiar?

Why can't it be in a tube?

I hate carpet

I really don't like cleaning floors in general. But I hate carpet. Especially apartment carpet, which is what I have been stuck with much of the time. It is beige, shows stains really well, and tends to be linty and dusty.

If I owned someplace, I would only have hardwood floors. Or tile. Or anything that could be cleaned with a MOP. It really bothers me that I have to use ELECTRICITY to clean my floors. Not only that, but knowing they are never really clean is really, really gross. And then I have to have someplace to store my big, bad vacuum cleaner. Which I don't have much room for BECAUSE I LIVE IN AN APARTMENT!

OK, there probably are some sleek, non-electrical options for vacuuming, I guess. I could get one of those carpet sweepers. And I am tempted. But I have a hard time believing that these are going satisfy my need for clean.

Wall-to-wall carpet is one of those things that shows off how much electricity we think we have. "Look," it once said, "I am rich. I can lay here and collect dush and someone will suck it off me." But I, for one, would prefer to have an area rug I can launder, beat outside, etc.

Now I understand that the reason most apartment buildings go with carpet is probably because of sound. I have a hard time believing there are other economics involved since most of the carpets look brand new when I move into an apartment, and I don't think it is just from aggressive steam-cleaning.

Aptwife Speculative Device #1: The ThingWasher

I am really trying to be good about keeping things as long as possible, not throwing things out, and not buying junk I will just need to

Sometimes this is all just a justification to buy something *very* nice that I *really* want. After all, isn't it better to buy a $150 dollar cashmere sweater I will keep forever than to buy two cheapo rayon sweaters I will throw out in two years? (Well, maybe not. Turns out cashmere is not exactly "environmental.")

But in some cases, I am sure this strategy works. For example, my really nice Shun knife will probably last me until the end of my days if I take care of it properly, whereas my mother has probably filled half a landfill with cheap knives.

There are some things, however, that even if they are nice, we are tempted to chuck them out and get a new one. Why? Because they are gross and disgusting and sometimes smell. Some common things around the house that tend to fit into that category:

• Shower caddies
• Garbage cans
• Wafflemakers
• Toaster ovens

All of these things (and I am sure there are others) come in contact with water or food. In my house, the garbage can is the #1 thing that fits into this category. No matter how often I clean it, or buy nice garbage bags, or try to be careful, I end up with crumbs on the flip top lid and a gross smell deeply embedded in the plastic.

This got me thinking about a possible business plan: a place to refurbish things. The ThingWasher. It would be kind of like a laundromat, but for things, not clothes. Mostly it could have a giant cleaner: something between a dishwasher and a carwash where you can get some serious detailing done. And of course there would be powerwashing tools (self-serve or full-serve?) Stuff could be gotten out of cracks and crannys. Things could be polished or buffed to a shine.

You won't throw out that old plastic wastebasket or that soap-scum encrusted shower-caddy because you can make it "new". And you can buy the super-cute one you have been wanting at CB2 or Restoration Hardware because you can justify the cost!

Home Economics Tip #1: Home Rag Service

I used to work in a printmaking studio. We made lots of black, inky, gross messes, often mixed with things like kerosene, simple green, or other toxic things. One of the things I loved was having rag service. We would pick a new rag out of the clean rag bin, use it until it was sopping wet, and then stick it in the dirty rag bin. Periodically someone would bring a new clean bin and take away the dirty bin.

I have thought about this often, especially when paying something ridiculous (like $3+) for decent paper towels. So I decided to come up with my own solution.

I bought a pack of washcloths at Target. You get something like 20 for $2.99. I picked a color that was totally different from anything we used on in our bathrooms at home, so no one would use the cleaning rag to wash their face. I throw them in the wash whenever I am done with them.

6 months later, my rags are going strong, and I haven't purchased any paper towels. I estimate I have probably saved me close to $100. As an added bonus, the well-used rags are pretty much lint-free at this point, so washed windows and mirrors looks much better than they did with paper towels.

There is the occasional downside. Sometimes the cat barfs and I just wish I had a paper towel. But I can adjust! I use the rag, wash it out in a sink, and throw it in the wash. It is worth it to reduce the amount of paper I am using and save money.

The Perils of Starting a Blog

Blogging is a big responsibility. I have lots of plans for Aptwifery, but haven't been able to concentrate my efforts to do the quality posts I plan to make, at the frequency that I want to make them. I am hoping to return in the fall with observations, cost-saving measures, and (hopefully) witty complaints about modern life.

This has led me to wonder: what takes time away from blogging, and how can I avoid whatever time-suck I have going on? Well, obviously housework takes up a lot of time. And some of it is quite stupid. I don't begrudge cleaning the toilet or washing the dishes. These both seem like honorable tasks. But folding sheets? This seems to be to be a colossal waste of time. I can't believe there are some people who take it one step further and actually iron them. To save time, I tend to take one of the pillowcases, and just shove the sheets in there. Then I stack the stuffed pillowcases in my closet. Done and done.