Rant: Leaving the Engine Running

When I lived in Manhattan, I had to walk down a street that was lined with USPS trucks in the morning. Nearly all of them left their engines running, turning the street into basically a huge carbon monoxide cloud that spewed black particles into my hair. Each morning I would fantasize about new ways to make them shut off their engines.

Ever since those days, I have had a pet peeve about people who leave their car engines running for no particular reason. For example, yesterday I spied a fellow in a black TransAm. He was parked at my supermarket, talking on the phone, and running his engine. It wasn't a hot day. There was no need for airconditioning. In fact, I can't help but think the sound of his engine would have interfered with the clarity of his call. 10 minutes later, still running, still on the phone.

As always, it is behaviour like this that leaves me baffled. Here are the possibly explanations I have arrived at so far. Please feel free to comment with your own:

1. He is trying to commit suicide. He doesn't realize he needs to be in an enclosed space or have something that hooks his exhaust directly to their car interior. Or he is trying to do it quite slowly.
2. His wife doesn't know he lost his job yet. He is hoping that the empty gas tank will make it look as though he went somewhere. Sadly, he is not smart enough to realize the odometer is going to give him away. It is this lack of brainpower that demonstrates why probably why he lost his job to begin with.
3. He doesn't know how to shut off the car (this explains a lot about the overall look of the TransAm. Perhaps it has been running since he bought it?)
4. He is preening. "Hey look at me! I have a car that runs!"

Not Too Much to Report

This has been a busy week for the Apt Wife, so I haven't had much time to contemplate the nature of the universe or of my household (apartmenthold?). I have been mulling over some more inventions for better living, so hopefully I will have something more concrete on that by next week!

Housewifely Skills I Have Yet To Learn

I think I am a pretty good cook, my house is relatively clean, I can entertain pretty well (although the results are often uneven), I am crafty, and my gardening is even coming along. But there are a few places where I am deficient:

• Gift-wrapping. I have never learned to make things perfect and pretty, and professionally wrapped. I even worked at a store with a nice gift-wrapping station, and yet I never picked it up.
• Bed-Making. I have fluffy down comforters on my bed, which admittedly does save me from having to showcase my hospital corners. Which is good, since I couldn't make one to save my life. My mother-in-law is a master bed-maker. I think I might need to sign up for a class with her.

I am sure there are more areas than these two (which seem related, now that I have written them down.) But these are the two that are plaguing my thoughts this morning.

The Perils of Starting a Blog

Blogging is a big responsibility. I have lots of plans for Aptwifery, but haven't been able to concentrate my efforts to do the quality posts I plan to make, at the frequency that I want to make them. I am hoping to return in the fall with observations, cost-saving measures, and (hopefully) witty complaints about modern life.

This has led me to wonder: what takes time away from blogging, and how can I avoid whatever time-suck I have going on? Well, obviously housework takes up a lot of time. And some of it is quite stupid. I don't begrudge cleaning the toilet or washing the dishes. These both seem like honorable tasks. But folding sheets? This seems to be to be a colossal waste of time. I can't believe there are some people who take it one step further and actually iron them. To save time, I tend to take one of the pillowcases, and just shove the sheets in there. Then I stack the stuffed pillowcases in my closet. Done and done.

Homemaking: What is the Point?

Taking care of a home takes up a lot of time. So when you are  loading the dishwasher for the second time in one day, it is easy to slip into thoughts on the futility of it all. There will always be more dirty dishes (even more if you like food as much as I do) and so it is possible to lose perspective on the purpose of the task.

I have been giving a lot of thought to what the goals of homemaking actually are. It is my hope that by having these clear in my mind, it will be easier to prioritize tasks and to make sure that what I am doing is in support of these goals.

• Basic Hygiene: obviously many housekeeping tasks fall into the category of "illness" or even "grossness" prevention.
  
• Pleasant environment: some of the tasks that go above and beyond this are meant to make your home nice. Nicer than a hotel. Nicer than other places you might go. Housing ourselves is one of the most expensive things we all do in life (whether you rent or own) so it seems reasonable that you would want to make your home desirable for yourself. For some of this, it means a good internet connection, for others it means matching drapes and carpet.
  

For me, the corollaries to these goals are the following

• To be ready to feed/host people with little preparation.
  
• Related to this first point: to be able to stay in our apartment for a week without leaving if we had to (which means not only food, but books, candles, etc.)
• To be able to prep for guests or other special occasion with minimal work (which means everything has to be kind of clean to begin with). This is related to goal #1, grossness prevention: I never want something to be so dirty that I am afraid to clean it.
  
• To NEVER spend an entire day cleaning

These ideas will no doubt shape the nature of future posts, and so I plan to revisit them periodically to see if I still think they hold true.

Welcome to Aptwifery!

You may first be wondering, what is "Aptwifery". "Apt" in this case refers both to apartment living (aptwife instead of housewife) and also to the word "Apt" which is to be "unusually fitted or qualified." This is my own way of thinking about being a "wife." Since in this blog, I am the Apt Wife, I would mention here first that I am not always unusually qualified for the tasks, issues, and problems I will propose here. However, I think I am fairly qualified to wonder about them.

Another note about the "Apt". As a housewife without a house, the Apt Wife would like to defer on all topics that relate to house-specific things. This includes, but is not limited to, lawn-care, cement foundations, roofing, septic tanks, driveway maintenance, vinyl siding, and the like. If someone cares to apply to be a guest columnist on any of these issues, please let the Apt Wife know.

Now that we have that out of the way, you may also be wondering, "OK, so what is the point?" 

The Apt Wife has been spending a lot of time thinking about Homemaking. The younger version of herself dismissed this (along with college majors like Home Economics, Food Science, and Business*) as being somewhat lame and dated concepts.

Food science was the first to be rehabilitated in her mind. Food is cool. Knowing more about food is cool. (That food studies PhD looks tempting these days to more than a few of us.) And so, with a protracted stint as a housewife looming, it was inevitable that home economics wasn't far behind. There were a few other incentives as well. The current economic crisis makes us all take a look at some belt-tightening measures. These fall, for many of us, squarely in the domain of homemaking. Secondly, there is a revolution happening in green living and new thinking about eating. These two are clearly the domain of the housewife (or those who think a lot about their homes and homelife.)

*She still isn't sure about Business. It sounds rather vague.