However, as you, in that black Mercedes cuts in front of me without signaling, I sink into some reflections on why it is you chose not to let me know you were about to do that. I have some theories:
1. You are limp-wristed. You are suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome or broken bones and are practically driving without hands altogether. Your doctor asked you not to make any unecessary hand movements. In fact, you might not have even meant to change lanes, but you are not in control of your actions.
2. You never took a driving test. You bought your driver's license on the black market and learned to drive from watching TV (it is true, they rarely show signaling on TV!) You got that fake ID to drink when you were 15, but it turned out to be so darn handy, you never saw the need to get a real one. People have been calling you "Tim" for years, even though your name is actually "Greg".
3. You have psychic powers. You always know what other drivers are about to do. Doesn't everyone else?
4. You are feeble-minded. It is a miracle that you got on the road at all. You are not a very high-functioning individual. You learned to drive where you are going by rote, after having a coach drive there with you 39 times. The coach didn't want to distract you by introducing abstract concepts above your comprehension level, like turn signals.
5. You are actually hoping someone hits you. Preferable someone like me, with a kid in the car. This is your method for meeting new people. You never would have gotten into that book group without the fender bender last fall. Now you are looking for someone to carpool with to soccer practice. So you veer all over the road, giving no indication of your final destination, in the vain hopes that the perfect person will run right into you.
6. You are going broke. You have started selling parts of that Mercedes off at the dealership to cover your mounting debts. Last week, they took the chrome and leather-trimmed stalk that connects to your turn signal. Sure, you feel less secure, but you will have running water in your condo for one more week.
Please feel free to let me know which of these turned out to be the main reason why you are unable to use the simple, elegant turn signal.
2. You never took a driving test. You bought your driver's license on the black market and learned to drive from watching TV (it is true, they rarely show signaling on TV!) You got that fake ID to drink when you were 15, but it turned out to be so darn handy, you never saw the need to get a real one. People have been calling you "Tim" for years, even though your name is actually "Greg".
3. You have psychic powers. You always know what other drivers are about to do. Doesn't everyone else?
4. You are feeble-minded. It is a miracle that you got on the road at all. You are not a very high-functioning individual. You learned to drive where you are going by rote, after having a coach drive there with you 39 times. The coach didn't want to distract you by introducing abstract concepts above your comprehension level, like turn signals.
5. You are actually hoping someone hits you. Preferable someone like me, with a kid in the car. This is your method for meeting new people. You never would have gotten into that book group without the fender bender last fall. Now you are looking for someone to carpool with to soccer practice. So you veer all over the road, giving no indication of your final destination, in the vain hopes that the perfect person will run right into you.
6. You are going broke. You have started selling parts of that Mercedes off at the dealership to cover your mounting debts. Last week, they took the chrome and leather-trimmed stalk that connects to your turn signal. Sure, you feel less secure, but you will have running water in your condo for one more week.
Please feel free to let me know which of these turned out to be the main reason why you are unable to use the simple, elegant turn signal.
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